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Not sure if this is the place for me...but it might be
Many times I look at BDSM sites and I think, "that's not me"...but I have more or less had a foot in this lifestyle my whole life. My high school gf liked to role-play; at first I resisted because I felt silly (doctor/patient improvs? ugh), but then I realized it wasn't so much the role-play that mattered, it was how she FELT while doing it...and with that in mind I found it was easy to push her boundaries sexually and turn her on by assuming a sexually dominant (yet fun) role...and I was hooked...from there, not every relationship would have kink, but sometimes there would be things...J liked to be spanked, E was willing to experiment with being tied up, etc. All this time I would go on the internet and see these pics of people in leather and hanging upside down with clamps all over their tits and think "that's too weird for me"...so I never really thought of myself as being part of BDSM. I was just a normal guy who liked a little kink, as long as my girlfriends were into it.
It wasn't until my mid 30's that I met someone who totally embraced the dom/sub emotional dynamic. I had never met anyone who said "I am a sub and I am okay with it" before. Someone being open and honest about that part of herself was liberating for me. She craved physical affection and I like to give it, and we both loved it when I would make her do things to earn it. Making rules was fun, and rewarding her for following them (and, when necessary, punishing her for breaking them) was even more so...just being able to build a whole relationship around something that had been "experimental" before was exhilarating. And that doesn't even include the fun in the bedroom. Unfortunately things couldn't work out and we called it quits. And while I've had a couple flings since then that have followed the same pattern, I’m still looking for the one I truly click with...
Anyway, that is what I am trying to find...a loving, mutually beneficial, emotional d/s relationship that is based on the sub’s desire to please her dom, the dom’s desire to provide the sub what she needs, and the sexuality is about the surrender of control, not degradation or the craziness of “what sailor knots am I going to tie you up with today”. Not that there won’t be any fun stuff…I’m not really into things like choking (I've tried it on those that have asked me...it's not my thing), but I'm not above biting or spanking and other things that might leave a mark, as well as the usual restraints, blindfolds, etc. Basically I'm here to build people up, not break them down. Is this the place for me to find it? I don't know. But there it is...if you can relate to any of this, please introduce yourself.
[if254 1]
My Ideal Person:
I don't generally have a physical "type" and I am cool with all ages/races. Just be drama-free and communicate well. I will not let you switch, nor will I switch for you, so don't ask. Newbies to the lifestyle are perfectly welcome.
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