Articles by Zeus2512

Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
EVEN MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED   8/18/2017

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain ? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A


1 Comments, 2 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Irish Priest   8/17/2017

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of th


0 Comments, 2 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Pumpkin   8/17/2017

This was apparently in the Washington Post .... The title of the article was Best Come Back Line Ever.' In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, G


0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
SKIRT ZIPPER   8/15/2017

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed an


0 Comments, 1 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
DATING RITUALS of women   8/10/2017

CANADIAN WOMEN

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

I


0 Comments, 4 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Irish Radio Phone In Quiz   8/9/2017

Some belters from Larry Gogans radio show phone in quiz called the "just a minute quiz"

(Larry) Q. Something a blind man might use? (Contestant) A. A sword



(L.) Q. A song wi


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Why We Like The British   8/8/2017

True Reports from British life ............!!! BRITISH NEWSPAPERS

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, '


1 Comments, 9 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Letter From The Boss   8/8/2017

Memorandum

TO: All employees FROM: The boss DATE:August 8th, 2017 RE: Foul Language



It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the comp


0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Poor Elton   8/2/2017

Elton John goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Elton, I'm not going to beat around the bush. You have HIV."

Elton is devastated. "Doc, what


0 Comments, 12 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Pregnancy Question   8/2/2017

Catherine, pregnant with her first child, paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly began, "My husband wants me to ask you..." "I know, I know, " the doctor said, placing a


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Groans   8/1/2017

Doctor Evil cloned himself again. This time created a full size version of himself. He was charged with "Bigger Me."

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Dollywood is currently undergoi


0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
How To Poop At Work   8/1/2017

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is


0 Comments, 5 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
The Test   7/31/2017

One day an Irishman goes into a pharmacy shop, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.

"Could


1 Comments, 29 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
My Wife Left Me   7/31/2017

My wife left me... And I don't understand.

After the last child was born, she told me we had to cut back on expenses - I had to give up drinking beer.

I was not a big drinker


0 Comments, 9 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
My US Air Force   7/31/2017

Even Zoomies get it right once in a while.

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latri


0 Comments, 9 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
The Wongs   7/26/2017

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations, ' says the


0 Comments, 5 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Stuck In A Bog   7/26/2017

Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by.

"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" Don't worry, " assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the str


0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
DOLLY PARTON AND QUEEN ELIZABETH   7/25/2017

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the


0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
The Lone Ranger's Last Request   7/25/2017

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ..

"In honor of the Harvest Festival


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
BEER TROUBLE SHOOTING GUIDE   7/25/2017

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backwar


0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
The Wrong Suit   7/25/2017

An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. One


0 Comments, 8 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Miracle Cure   7/20/2017

NEW - Miracle Cure!!!





• Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

• Do you suffer from shyness?

• Do you sometimes wish you were more ass


1 Comments, 9 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Great Advice   7/20/2017

By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have found inner peace.

The article read:

'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish off the things you have started'.
<


0 Comments, 6 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
A tale of four cats   7/20/2017

Four Cats Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Empl


0 Comments, 10 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
pest Control   7/3/2017

An Irishwoman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.


0 Comments, 20 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Odd One Out   7/3/2017

Odd One Out

Which is the odd 1 out? 1. Toaster. 2. Washing machine. 3. Dish washer. 4. Woman.

Answer = A toaster.... Its the only 1 that doesnt drip when its fucked


0 Comments, 7 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
2 Irish Nuns   7/3/2017

Two Irish nuns were sitting at traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them. "Hey, show us your tits, ye bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks. The Mother Su


0 Comments, 13 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Mother Of Six   6/29/2017

A husband, so proud of the fact that his wife had given birth to 6 children, begins to call her "mother of six" rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the


0 Comments, 23 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
A Biker Story   6/29/2017

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" <


0 Comments, 16 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
The Three Worst Chinese Tortures   6/29/2017

The Three Worst Chinese Tortures



Once upon a time a starving man named Harry Enis was walking in the middle of a Chinese forest when he stumbled upon a huge mansion. It was close to


0 Comments, 15 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Dear Alcohol   6/9/2017

First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around in the


2 Comments, 14 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
The power of Alcohol   6/9/2017

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him


0 Comments, 10 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Moral Test   5/25/2017

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation i


0 Comments, 21 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
A Jewish Divorce   5/25/2017

A jewish girl calls her mother : 'Mum, I'm getting a divorce'. 'A divorce? Why?' replied the shocked mother. 'Mum, all he wants his anal sex. I used to have a lovely little arsehole, the size of a 5C


0 Comments, 24 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
YOU Can Be The Man Of Your House   5/25/2017

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Survey   5/22/2017

In a recent blowjob survey 7% of the men said they like the feeling. 10% said they like the power and control. The rest just enjoyed the peace and quiet.


0 Comments, 11 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
DATING RITUALS OF WOMEN   5/22/2017

CANADIAN WOMEN First date: You get to kiss her goodnight. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOME


0 Comments, 11 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
A Night At The Farmhouse   5/20/2017

The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room. "I could let you sleep with my daughter, " the farmer said,


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
The Silent Treatment   5/20/2017

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an e


0 Comments, 16 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Barbie Girl   5/20/2017

A dad is on his way home a bit late from the office when he realises that it's his daughter's birthday and he has not bought her a gift. So he stops at a toy store to buy his daughter a Barbie. Inside


0 Comments, 12 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
3 Eggs And A Little Cash   5/19/2017

A women on her deathbed called her husband and instructed him to look under their bed and open the wooden box he found. He was puzzled by the 3 eggs and $7, 000 in cash he found in the box, so he aske


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Chess   5/19/2017

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing around in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. About an hour later the manager comes out of his office and asked


0 Comments, 5 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
QUOTES OF THE WEEK   5/19/2017

We do on stage things that are supposed to happen off. Which is a kind of integrity, if you look on every exit as being an entrance somewhere else. Tom Stoppard (1937 - ), Rosencrantz and Guildenstern


0 Comments, 1 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Some thoughts on scening   5/18/2017

Scening can be great fun for the parrticipants, and the viewers if done in a public room, but, it has to be believable in order to work. While you maybe suspending reality while you're playing, you ha


0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Brothel   5/18/2017

Two eight-year-old boys played in a vacant lot everyday, and across the street was a brothel. Day after day they saw men go up, knock on the door, go in, and eventually come out happy and smiling. One


0 Comments, 13 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
MORE BLONDE QUESTIONS ANSWERED   5/18/2017

Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex? A: Opens the car door.

Q: How do blondes turn the light on after sex? A: Kick open the car door.

Q: Why do


0 Comments, 8 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Blondes and Oil Changes   5/18/2017

(1996, Texas) 45 year old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had broug


0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
2 Pots   5/18/2017

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered


1 Comments, 12 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
2 Eggs   5/18/2017

Two eggs decide to get married. Along comes the big day and everything goes to plan. But they are both very nervous about the honeymoon night so the female egg decides to dress up in a skimpy little n


0 Comments, 8 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Date Site Descriptions   5/18/2017

You might find this amusing. Dating Site Descriptions What they Really MEAN: !!!!

Female: Adventurous = puts the book down during sex, . Athletic = breasts, 30 something = 41, Fun = Annoying,


0 Comments, 8 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
The Man's Perspective.   5/18/2017

The site from a mans perspective, is strange and bordering on sad, we get the various categories, which by not saying to much, you don't seem to fit into, mostly the categories include: 1) Look at me


0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Bubba's New Toilet Brush   5/18/2017

While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.

They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle


0 Comments, 20 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
At The Anatomy Class   5/18/2017

A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what h


1 Comments, 11 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Top Ten Blonde Inventions   5/18/2017

10...The water-proof towel 9...Solar powered flashlight 8...Submarine screen door 7...A book on how to read 6...Inflatable dart board 5...A dictionary index 4...Ejector seat in a helicopter. 5...Powde


1 Comments, 7 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Husband And Wife   5/16/2017

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I d


0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
The Atheist And The Bear   5/16/2017

An atheist was walking through the woods. 'What majestic trees'! 'What powerful rivers'! 'What beautiful animals'! He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustli


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
One Wprd Or Two   1/13/2017

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the w


2 Comments, 26 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Making breakfast   1/13/2017

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful, " he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at


0 Comments, 27 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Riddles with an X in front of the rated!   1/13/2017

Apologies if some are a little crass but some of them are gold! . . . . X-RATED RIDDLES Q. What's a mixed feeling? A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. =============


1 Comments, 27 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
When Jane met Tarzan   1/13/2017

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle...





When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked


0 Comments, 24 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Composure Or Aplomb   1/13/2017

The British have such a command of decorum and aplomb to which we can only aspire.

This message is for my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly.
<


0 Comments, 14 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
What Happened Next?   1/13/2017

A man is talking to his best friend about married life.

"You know, " he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."




0 Comments, 16 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Baby's First Doctor Visit   11/3/2016

Baby's First Doctor Visit

I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The d


0 Comments, 73 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Musical Willies   2/9/2016

As there is no section on games, i have put this here. It is just an idea for people to try out. Let me know how you get on, and any ideas to improve it. Musical Willies Object of the game: To see how


0 Comments, 22 Views, 0 Votes
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Muslim Logic   8/13/2015

A Muslim couple in Peckham Rye, preparing for their wedding, meet the Mullah for counseling. The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, "We realize it's a tradi


0 Comments, 116 Views, 7 Votes ,0.49 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
What is the difference between men and women?   7/15/2015

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women some


1 Comments, 42 Views, 15 Votes ,2.82 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
In the desert   7/1/2015

2 guys are walking along a desert when they come ascross a girl buried up to her neck. One of them asks, "What's in it for us if we pull you out?" She answers, "Sand."


0 Comments, 94 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Blondes on Honeymoon   10/11/2014

A Mother had three virgin blonde daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period.

Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them a


4 Comments, 201 Views, 12 Votes ,5.27 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Which Do You Prefer?   8/3/2014

Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.

She asked me if I preferred breasts or legs.

I told her what I really liked was a shaved fanny

Apparently I'm not we


3 Comments, 28 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Which Do You Prefer?   8/3/2014

Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman.

She asked me if I preferred breasts or legs.

I told her what I really liked was a shaved fanny

Apparently I'm not we


2 Comments, 30 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
Zeus2512 64 M
71 Articles
Score 5.1
Tickle Me Elmo   7/11/2014

Tickle Me Elmo:

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me E


1 Comments, 133 Views, 6 Votes ,5.07 Score