Dreamcatcher__ 87M
744 posts
2/14/2018 10:17 pm

Last Read:
10/11/2023 8:57 pm

Never the Time or Place


We've all heard the phrase "this is not the time or the place." It usually means there is never going to be the right time or place.

I don't think everybody feels like that. But there are people for whom that seems to be a recurring theme in their lives. It is never the right time to say I love you. It is never the right time to finish that story you always meant to write. It is never the right time to say you're sorry. It is never the right time to end a relationship.

It's too easy to dismiss them as procrastinators. Many of them are quite successful in spite of this trait. That was the theme of the the musical "Stop the World, I Want to get Off!" and its most popular song "What Kind of Fool am I?" watch?v=lVchmf4M88s about a man who was a success in the eyes of the world but never fell in love.

As I sit al on this Valentine's Day I think of the woman I took to see the likely Oar winning film Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri and dinner afterward earlier today. I think of the sweet submissive who emailed me when I was half a world away to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving who I haven't even wished a happy Valentine's Day. I think of the woman I could share any thought with, as long as I did it in Japanese, which meant I could never express it fully, who wants me to visit in the Spring... while I continue to find excuses not to make travel plans. I think of a stunning young woman who means the world to me who I haven't seen or even contacted for months. I think of a hundred unfinished projects, a thousand unexpressed thoughts. I think of a world of experiences, successes I barely even dreamed of when I was een old.

... and I wonder what kind of fool I am.

Sammy Davis Jr. – What Kind Of Fool Am I Lyrics
What kind of fool am I
Who never fell in love?
It seems that I'm the only
That I have been thinking of

What kind of man is this?
An empty shell
A lly cell in which
An empty heart must dwell

What kind of lips are these
That lied with every kiss?
That whispered empty words of love
That left me al like this

Why can't I fall in love
Like any other man?
And maybe then I'll know what kind of fool I am

What kind of clown am I?
What do I know of life?
Why can't I cast away this mask of
And live my life?

Why can't I fall in love
Like any other man?
And maybe then I'll know what kind of fool I am


Dreamcatcher__ 87M
7019 posts
2/17/2018 7:48 pm

    Quoting  :

Just swallowed the first bite of that elephant. e-filed the taxes 15 minutes ago. Rewarding myself with 15 minutes on alt (I must be a closet masochist. Only a masochist would regard alt as a reward. 2nd prize is 20 minutes.) .


Dreamcatcher__ 87M
7019 posts
2/17/2018 3:13 pm

    Quoting  :

Reflective, or annoyed? I think I'm just pissed off because my cell phone is jammed up and I can only fix it by taking an inordinate amount of time while two other time-sensitive projects: my convoluted taxes and some complex Japan-trip plans, languish.

Perhaps I've had things running smoothly for too long. I feel like I felt when my canoe emerged from the swift smooth current of the Mupata Gorge on the Zambezi River and hit the turbulent confluence with the Luangwa River. All hell is breaking loose. If I swing left the Luangwa current will capsize me. If I go straight I'll get slammed in the face by waves over my bow. If I swing right I could run through a herd of submerged hippos heading for shore.

My happy little controlled environment is shutting down while I dither between watching the Winter Olympics, reading a great book about the role-model for the career I chose or screwing around on the internet. I used to be able to manage this kind of stuff. I'm losing my touch. Poor me.




Dreamcatcher__ 87M
7019 posts
2/15/2018 8:28 pm

    Quoting sophis_id:
    ENFJ -A/-T.

    The truth is if it’s not important enough to actually do it then don’t. That doesn’t mean you are lacking in any way it just means you chose to do something else that called to you. If the impetus isn’t strong enough doing whatever just to cast a stone in the pool is careless and cruel. You don’t strike me as cruel. Clinical perhaps but not deliberately cruel.

    We can wallow in what ifs. What if I did, or what if I didn’t. In the end every action or inaction was what we chose. Smile, reach out if you want to. Seems to me that you don’t actually want to cause real harm.....either to these incredible women you’ve had the honor to have in your life....or to yourself.

    I spent the evening with my grandkids, my sil made dinner, my daughter was my valentine. I spoke with OZ. I went to bed alone too. What if’s everywhere.
As always, you get me better than I get myself. Thanks for steering me away from the rocks.

Like Ulysses, I've got a chorus of sirens calling to me and I'm lashed to the mast. I know myself well enough to know that if I don't take care of the problems that require discipline, I'll never be able to concentrate on a situation that requires careful planning.

I do have a tendency to overthink things, which is compounded by my aversion to communicating or keeping in touch. I want every communication to be perfect.

I'm sure I caused harm along the way, but like Piaf je ne regrette rien.

watch?v=fFtGfyruroU

I do have an opportunity, however, to make things right that I left all a jumble when I departed.

Sounds like you had a very good Valentines Day. I did too, even if I did get a little melancholy when I was alone after midnight. Frances McDormand is remarkably good company, and we had a very enjoyable time talking about her strikingly memorable movie and several excellent performances after the flick over shared lobster, steak, shrimp and ribs.


Dreamcatcher__ 87M
7019 posts
2/15/2018 7:13 pm

    Quoting  :

Life's getting in the way all right. I used to be better at anticipating and dodging it.

That's part of what this post is about... getting myself back on my game. I got my dream boat early on and have sailed it to exotic ports around the world. Now I'm going back on one more cruise. If it sinks now, I'll have no regrets.

watch?v=fFtGfyruroU

Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m'est bien égal
Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien
C'est payé, balayé, oublié, je me fous du passé
Avec mes souvenirs j'ai allumé le feu
Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs
Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux
Balayé les amours avec leurs trémolos
Balayé pour toujours
Je reparts à zéro
Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien
Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait, ni le mal
Tout ça m'est bien égal
Non, rien de rien, non, je ne regrette rien
Car ma vie, car mes joies
Aujourd’hui ça commence avec toi


Dreamcatcher__ 87M
7019 posts
2/15/2018 6:28 pm

    Quoting HW13KineticBlue:
    Wow. So incredibly sad. i feel for you, sir. Call her. Text her. Heck, use smoke signals! Tell that incredible woman how you feel!!!
Unfortunately, it's more complicated than that.


sophis_id 60F
16373 posts
2/15/2018 6:19 am

ENFJ -A/-T.

The truth is if it’s not important enough to actually do it then don’t. That doesn’t mean you are lacking in any way it just means you chose to do something else that called to you. If the impetus isn’t strong enough doing whatever just to cast a stone in the pool is careless and cruel. You don’t strike me as cruel. Clinical perhaps but not deliberately cruel.

We can wallow in what ifs. What if I did, or what if I didn’t. In the end every action or inaction was what we chose. Smile, reach out if you want to. Seems to me that you don’t actually want to cause real harm.....either to these incredible women you’ve had the honor to have in your life....or to yourself.

I spent the evening with my grandkids, my sil made dinner, my daughter was my valentine. I spoke with OZ. I went to bed alone too. What if’s everywhere.



Inner Fucking Peace: watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY


HW13KineticBlue 55M

2/15/2018 12:02 am

Wow. So incredibly sad. i feel for you, sir. Call her. Text her. Heck, use smoke signals! Tell that incredible woman how you feel!!!


Dreamcatcher__ 87M
7019 posts
2/14/2018 10:24 pm

Are all ENTP personalities like this?



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