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alt5250 61M
1283 posts
3/19/2018 12:48 pm

Mistress Kimm, I think the first thing I need to do is assure you that victims of crime or those who are close to family that are victims have these thoughts quite regularly and no this is not abnormal. You are not professing any thoughts that do not show up for others in similar situations.

That you are capable (without ever meeting or talking to) I have no doub). But aside from you knowing it wouldn't be good for so many reasons (many mentioned) I doubt this is the real you.

I thought last post when I commented to TSarah what will happen to him I was over stepping..... maybe this is too...I hope not. You must know you, or any of us, can Never go back & change what he did. So there are two paths remaining forward....

One is as you mentioned, it is instant, maybe no pain to him, suffering for you and your family for a long time.... & yes illegal. You get immediate gratification, but pay.

The other is *IF* he goes to jail, he will be suffering a LOT, every day he is inside.... the traditional serving time way, the fear that comes with getting the crap beaten out of you by other cons for being a mollester or the fear of getting in the way of a gang fight & stabbed for just getting in the way...... or getting turned into someone’s bitch as the price to pay for protection inside. You get to be aware of parole hearings...& should be offered the ability to speak at them as to why him getting out is a bad idea. When or IF he ever gets out he will be watched for a very long time as. A dangerous child offender. This way is low risk, legal & if it matters you can be assured the pain & suffering will go on for a very long time.

Yes there is a third option.... maybe he doesn't go in ...a lawyer wth a technicality ....then he makes local law enforcements hit list as one that got away and will attract a lot of attention.

So if I can be so bold, take a deep breathe & go back to normal life for all those who need you...and watch and bide your time. It will unfold, but will take time.


jaykay48 75M
11442 posts
3/19/2018 1:28 pm

Once, while taking my fourth grade class outside the school I passed a fire alarm and commented to the little boy who was first in line that everytime I pass a fire alarm some part of me thinks of pulling it. The little boy's face lit up and he said, "That's what I always think and I thought I was bad for that!" I laughed and told him that the reason we DON'T do bad things on impulse is because we think about it first and that stops us. The people who do the bad things are the ones who have no impulse control because they don't have the "pre-thinking defense" in place. (I may have not used those words but that's what I meant)

The reason you won't murder that guy (who certainly deserves it) is because you "pre-thunk" it and expressed it on this post.

You can only hope that if the legal system doesn't catch up with him he will, at least, die alone and cold in his bed with visions of his actions haunting him up until the end of his pitiful life.


pandia__ 50F
3097 posts
3/19/2018 2:53 pm

Not that this makes you feel better but I bet these thoughts are very typical. It's part of the grieving process--anger and rage. You may feel helpless that she hadn't been protected before you. These thoughts are you trying to *do something* and get your rage out.

I hope for the absolute worst fate for this pathetic filth of a person but i also hope the best for you and your family. That means you need to still be in it.


drmgirl622 68F  
25889 posts
3/19/2018 4:33 pm

The thoughts you're having are ones I think each and every one of us have experienced at one time or another. I had a nemesis that I just wanted out of the way and all types of thoughts just swirled and nearly drove me crazy. It took time but a cooler head prevailed and Karma did come sweeping in and that nemesis experienced worse than i had ever imagined.

You are the rock in your family.....the mesh that holds it all together no matter the circumstance. I say, have those thoughts, let them be your comfort. Let those thoughts be just that......thoughts. You now have become the little ones protector and role model, revel in that.......let the Grand Goddess shine.


nimblebookworm 59F
1543 posts
3/19/2018 6:08 pm

I think most everyone has such thoughts in similar situations. There is an odd peace in thinking it through. So if nothing else, you are not alone in that.


tinkerfun 46F
11150 posts
3/20/2018 3:57 pm

I think it’s actually good for you to ‘confess’ this and talk about it (in a safe enviroment). It has clearly become an obsession. If I was in your position I would read about how obsessive mind works and perhaps how to help to overcome it x


alt5250 61M
1283 posts
3/21/2018 4:04 pm

......replies on 3/21/2018 3:22 pm:
I don't know.
It feels like the real me.
You might think too well of me.

I won't - that's why I wrote this.
But not because it isn't me...but for the reasons I listed.

I want to thank you - for all your postings. They are thoughtful kind - and I appreciate it.
==============================

Mistress Kimm... thank you for your kind words.... now next I am going to have to disagree with you a wee bit. As a card carrying member of the 'MK' fan club I have to assure you that it’s not that I think you can't.... it's I think you have far more on your plate & you are maybe too smart to...that does not include the fact you may want to.

Now yes I happen to believe the lady I serve almost walks on water too... but it’s really quite simple .... do a pole amongst the good people here & I am positive you will find we all think of you much the same.... a very good person. I rest my case ....😇


SylviaSoulier 58F
8209 posts
4/9/2018 10:49 am



There is no such thing as righteous anger, simply anger. Anger will not affect him, it will simply destroy you. Killing him will not affect him, it will destroy you.

Rage comes from overwhelming helplessness. You are strong and loved and have the ability to help this wee girl become an amazing survivor.

You are giving him power Mistress Kimm, power that he does not deserve.



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