aliljaded 53F
23949 posts
10/23/2017 3:47 am
Dominance, Submission, and Freedom....

Dominance, Submission, and Freedom....

This wonderful image has been sitting on my desktop for some time now because it spoke to me about the essence of Dominance and submission. It poignantly reminds me of the role loving Dominant plays in teaching, guiding and protecting while never holding a submissive captive. Indeed, the loving Dominant guides their submissive to be the best that they can be and in so doing sets them free; free of themselves and the limitations imposed on them by upbringing, society at large, and a life lived. Ultimately it is the submissive who gratefully and graciously creates their own chains, committing themselves voluntarily to the Dominant who has taught them to fly.

The image also speaks to me of the loving emotional and physical touch of a Dominant who has the capacity to destroy yet has been grated the trust not to do so. Dominance is not an act of holding something captive, crushing its spirit in an effort to bend it to one’s own will. The beauty and reward of submission are in fostering the soaring spirit, alive with energy and vitality, then having it come to roost forever tied to the Dominant who encourages their submissive to soar and be free. The Dominant is that perch, that safe haven, that place of rest and repose. To the devoted submissive, the Dominant is home.

The sexual and graphic BDSM depictions often associated with Dominance and submission represent but one possible element of a D/s relationship. There is no doubt that BDSM scene play to one degree or another makes up a part of many D/s relationships. And bondage, the captivity and immobilization of the submissive for the pleasure of one or both, certainly can play a role. But this physical captivity is merely symbolic of something far deeper in my experience. It is acting out the bond felt deeply within. The level of sexuality and the amount and degree of kink is but a visible manifestation of what I consider to be a necessary and foundational element of a D/s relationship; the emotional and spiritual connection between Dominant and submissive.

From my perspective and that of my Muse, it is the emotional, almost elemental bond that we feel between us that drives my need to be Dominant and her need to be submissive. Guidance, respect and service are our primary stock in trade. They take on many forms, many completely non-sexual in nature. The constant D/s interplay that exists between us extends to all facets of life and thus finds its way into our intimate and sexual lives as well.

But kinky sex and BDSM scene play are not our reason for being as a couple. Our D/s bond is something that we need. And I do mean that it is a need, not a desire. At some very core level, we need what we receive from one another. We fill a hole within each other that has always been there and that no other relationship has ever noticed, let alone touched or fulfilled. Our invisible chains are psychological and emotional and extend far beyond wrists and ankles to our hearts and spirits. We willfully and willingly chain ourselves to each other and in so doing have never felt so free.

If Dominance is an act of setting someone free, and submission is an act of willfully devoting oneself to another, then who is the captor and who is the captive? A leash, after all, has two ends, both of which must be held. Ultimately, Dominant and submissive are bound to one another not by chains but by their own need, and the mutual fulfillment of those needs. We do for one another what no one else can or will. We are here by choice and by choice we stay. And in that choice, we are set free to be our most authentic selves.

Originally posted on September 10, 2013

Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2013


"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


aliljaded 53F
8847 posts
10/23/2017 7:12 am

I enjoyed this piece.

"Men need to hunt. She obviously understands this. She’s offering herself as prey. Not easy prey. But willing.”


1uncommondom 77M

10/23/2017 6:36 am

Submission is not a weakness, gift or being less . .
Dominance is not a strength, entitlement or being more.
A power exchange is a melding of two hearts, souls an spirit
into a single focus.
To me the photo is the setting free of that focus, one cannot be free without the other.



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